it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Let's paint friendship bongs
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
