Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
