I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
