You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
