I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Farmville is her only friend.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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