He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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