U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
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If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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