I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize