I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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