Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Vodka?
Forever.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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