I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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