i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
