She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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