Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
