LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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