The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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