i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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