I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize