She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
