I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
