Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
