When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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