im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You took a bar mat shot.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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