every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
