we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
