Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
