that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
