we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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