I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
