I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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