nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
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Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
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Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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