You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
