My pussy is not your playground.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
COCAINE IS GR8
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
