this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize