Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
