grandma shit on top of the toilet
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
