i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
