I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
