i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize