I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
