All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
