And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
