Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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