I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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