I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize