He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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