I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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