Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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