White coat. Heels.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
