...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
