Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
