bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
