I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
