I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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