i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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