oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
