I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
