I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
