and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
