It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
