I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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