why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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