WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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