i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
zippers are such a cool invention
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
