I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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