Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize