is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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