when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
