i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
