i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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