it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
